....for a night, you took me by surprise...
Restlessness makes for fickle tastes. I'm excited about dyeing my hair tonight for two reasons: (1) it'll be hella cheaper than paying for my usual hairstylist to do it, and (2) it's a change. I'm ready, hungry for change: ready for the seasons to change, ready for my hair to change (I've decided to grow it out), ready for different things.
My brother's wedding is next weekend; after he gets married, I can go get my orbital piercing and start seriously pondering tattoos. For our anniversary, the husband and I have decided to get coordinating tattoos. I'm having second thoughts about it because the tats we've picked are rather large; I keep telling myself we don't have to go full-size with them, and I hope the husband agrees. One of the reasons I haven't gotten a tattoo before now is that I've had a hard time committing myself to something so permanent. Piercings heal up - not that I plan to get rid of any of my 12 ear piercings any time soon. I'd love to get a lip piercing or a nose stud, but I think the fam would really freak. Not that I care what they think, per se: I just prefer not to flaunt my tastes in their faces, know what I mean? I'm not ashamed; I just respect my family and their beliefs and personal opinions.
As soon as the wedding is over, too, I plan to do something drastic with my hair color, too. Not sure what yet, but I need to; something dramatic must be done - I need the change desperately. Autumn is yet weeks away, and I don't think my soul can wait that long for a dramatic change. I must affect such a change.
...that is why I woke and cried out...
8.26.2009
8.17.2009
...I believed I could...
...I'm just the same but brand new...
There are pains in my shoulders this morning, pain in my back...it's a warm lightning-like pain, a pain that feels like water bubbling and less like stabbing. It makes my eyes want to water, but there's not a lot of moisture in my body right now because of my allergy meds.
I'm viciously tired - exhausted, really, is a better word. I know I'm reaching critical mass as far as sleep deprivation goes. It's like having a secret, this kind of sleeplessness and exhaustion.
There's a spark, a little warm kernel of burning ambition in me today, a desire to accomplish much and to be productive. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, and the mind unfocused.
....the people in the street had overtaken you...
Despite the pain threading itself through me this morning, and the secret that is sleeplessness, there's an odd and unsettling joysong humming in the center of me, a kind of madness steeped in the Spiritus Mundi. Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. Perhaps secrets are better than I thought.
There are pains in my shoulders this morning, pain in my back...it's a warm lightning-like pain, a pain that feels like water bubbling and less like stabbing. It makes my eyes want to water, but there's not a lot of moisture in my body right now because of my allergy meds.
I'm viciously tired - exhausted, really, is a better word. I know I'm reaching critical mass as far as sleep deprivation goes. It's like having a secret, this kind of sleeplessness and exhaustion.
There's a spark, a little warm kernel of burning ambition in me today, a desire to accomplish much and to be productive. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, and the mind unfocused.
....the people in the street had overtaken you...
Despite the pain threading itself through me this morning, and the secret that is sleeplessness, there's an odd and unsettling joysong humming in the center of me, a kind of madness steeped in the Spiritus Mundi. Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. Perhaps secrets are better than I thought.
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