Like a child at play...

Still two steps away from realization, from enlightenment of some sort.

This morning, I am filled with a pervasive feeling of freedom, of understanding, of knowing what used to make me happy. I used to know myself so well...until my time in Missouri, which broke that all to pieces. I'd settle now for just understanding myself better, rather than as well as I used to.

I have a friend who is convinced that I would be much better off if I simply knew what I wanted from the world, from people, and from myself. Using that knowledge would give me direction, which would help me feel less lost. I know he's right; I'm just...afraid. I'm not sure of what, but I'm afraid. It's silly, yah.

But these days I feel closer to knowing. I feel closer to that former understanding, and that has to count for something. Maybe this weekend I'll sit down and figure out what I want...

...and from there, figure out where to go and what to do.